Sex at Rice University, Indicted Politicians, McGrady vs McCready

Rice University is the latest campus to get a student sex magazine. It looks like they need it.

As part of the inaugural issue of Open magazine, which is as disappointingly classy and nonpornographic as you'd expect from the Rice brainiacs, close to 800 students answered an online sex ­survey.

The results: Not a lot of Owls are getting it on.

Almost 40 percent of the students surveyed said they were virgins, and these days we figure that's not something you'd lie about. That compares to a nationwide 2006 study, by the Journal of American College Health, showing 23 percent of college students are virgins.

Rice, Rice, baby — what's going on? Or not going on?

"I don't find it surprising that Rice has a higher percentage of virgins than the national average," says Open's Rachel Solnick. She says studies have shown kids with higher IQs tend to keep their virginity longer.

"It makes sense that the people who have their heads in the books will not have a lot of time on their hands to engage in relationships and the associated activities," Solnick says.

Yeah, but the survey also found 20 percent of Rice students don't masturbate.

"It seems that some Rice kids have been so immersed in their studies that any form of sexual activity has not crossed their mind," she says.

Geez. Rice isn't the Harvard of the Southwest, it's the Bob Jones University of the Southwest.

Another finding: While 60 percent of the students have had sex, only 45 percent say they've ever had an orgasm. More than half the women say they've never had one. Do they teach nothing at Rice?

"That statistic seems to go in line with the fact that it is a lot more difficult for women to orgasm than men," Solnick says. "And since they make up half the respondents, maybe Rice guys should try to be a little more 'helpful.'"

A final question for Solnick: Nine students, when given the chance to identify themselves as straight, gay or bi, chose "other."

What the hell does that mean?

"Maybe they just don't know yet?" she says. "Maybe they have a fetish for Sammy the Owl."

Maybe. But if they do, judging from the poll, chances are they're not doing a whole lot about it.

Quacking, Lamely

How lame can a lame duck get? Borris Miles is finding out.

Miles has three strikes against him: 1) He's a freshman state representative, one who has pissed off some colleagues with his brashness; 2) He lost his re-election bid in the primary; and 3) He's been indicted for his penchant for waving around guns and threatening people.

But assuming he finishes out his term, he'll be in office eight more months. With all the power and pull he has, he no doubt will fashion a legislative agenda that will make Shelley Sekula-Gibbs's two weeks on Capitol Hill look like something out of LBJ's Senate career.

"I'm sure he's just going to try to lay low and figure out if he has a political future," says one political consultant.

There are no plans for the Legislature to be in session this year, so there isn't a lot of opportunity to trade votes or push projects. Members usually spend this time holding committee hearings and contacting state agencies on behalf of complaining constituents.

"I don't know how much attention the agencies will pay to someone who's going out of town," says one lobbyist. "I know that one agency told one representative, 'You're here for a short time; I'm here forever.' They're certainly not going to listen to some freshman who just got his ass whupped."

Not necessarily so, says a member of the Harris County delegation.

"If Borris continues to do constituent service — and some people who lose primaries don't — then he will get the respect from agencies that everyone else gets," says the member, who, like everyone else, talked under condition of anonymity. "Sometimes that's respect and sometimes that's lip service."

The member noted that Miles's colleagues likely won't change the way they interact with him. Even when it comes to being indicted, the feeling is one of he who is without sin, etc., etc.

"On the other hand, the lobby's not going to help him," the member added. "If he somehow wants to have a get-out-of-debt fund-raiser, he's screwed."

Miles, who did not return phone calls, will be replaced by the longtime veteran he turned out of office, Al Edwards.

Until then, Miles is a very lame, and indicted, duck.

Another Mac to Track

A bright new star entered the Houston sports atmosphere recently: Country music star Mindy McCready. The New York Daily News reported, and McCready eventually confirmed, that the singer had a long affair with Houston’s own Roger Clemens. Which was kind of surprising, since Roger has always made such a big deal about being a family man and all. There’s some confusion about whether Clemens and McCready got to the physical, makin’-sweet-monkey-love aspect of the relationship when she was 15 or actually street-legal. At any rate, McCready sounds like McGrady, so here's a scorecard to tell them apart.